The Thing I Discovered Dating After Divorce

Author and success advisor Rebecca Perkins provides lowdown on online dating in midlife.

When we mentioned the marriage vows or made the responsibilities to our lovers we never ever thought that certain time we’d end up being facing divorce proceedings. We never envisioned having to time once again. That was my personal knowledge in any event. But, following ending of a 20-year marriage, we obtained the pieces, licked my wounds and determined that used to do desire to go out again however weird and unpleasant it could feel to do so at the beginning.

Some tips about what we learned and I share it along with you because I remember what it felt like feeling shameful, not sure, and honestly terrified!

  • Decide what you intend to step out of online dating sites. If you’re searching for a partner, tell the truth with your self and work out that obvious in your profile. If you’re looking for friendship and a little bit of fun, claim that too. There isn’t any part of falling for anyone that’s wanting different things than you. It is simply perhaps not planning work and you will finish hurt and disillusioned.
  • Know the principles, even before you completed very first internet dating profile. What exactly is crucial that you you? Precisely what do you look for in life along with a relationship. This is not about a listing of demands expected of a prospective go out by-the-way! This can be about yourself and what you hold dear.
  • Have fun, enjoy! Some people address their particular dating as another career! Lighten up, enjoy the process. Never go on it or yourself as well severely and you will fulfill some very nice folks as you go along.
  • Simply take nothing actually. This is really crucial. You can read most of the horror stories online … recall good stories will not promote as well as terrible people! You’re going to be approached by people that’ve certainly not review the profile, you’ll be contacted by individuals who are impolite, you’ll be liked and winked anyway enough time. Just take absolutely nothing truly. You get to choose the person you’d will answer or means. Keep in mind as well that many you contact will not react (if great manners tend to be one of your center values this is challenging!) Just move forward!
  • Have the correct good attitude before investing time on matchmaking sites. Any time you go into it with much, bruised center with unfavorable internal dialogue you will have difficulty. Additionally don’t enter it naively picturing that you’re going to fulfill your ideal match immediately. These matters take some time.
  • Compose a persuasive and enticing profile. Countless pages are mundane and boring therefore it is actually simple to stay ahead of the competition and it will create all the difference towards experience. (i am right here to aid as well, it is what I love performing.)
  • Be honest from start to finish. In case you are 50 cannot say you are 40. In the event that you smoke and get no workout you should not declare that you’re into healthy living. This may seem obvious but you’d be blown away! Honesty is one of my personal key prices and the base for a good relationship.
  • If you should be nervous about satisfying right up, spend some time mailing and letter creating. It’s just what my partner and I performed therefore ended up being great observe our very own union develop once we asked concerns of every different ranging from the lighthearted into the a lot more acute.
  • Be openly minded. You will never know that which you might learn about yourself and existence by online dating someone you would n’t have looked over in your past interactions! Discover a richness included with existence as soon as we come out of our comfort zones.
  • Buy some exceptional photos of you looking relaxed, delighted and also at simplicity. It’s going to make a big difference … NO selfies.


Just what good stuff has you learned from online dating in midlife?


After a separation and divorce, Rebecca discovered by herself single and 45 yrs . old in 2008. She had not dated since she was 24 and discovered that much had altered. Trying to find male business, she made a decision to head to the courageous new world of online dating sites.

Rebecca is co-founder of Irresistible Dating which she create with leading internet dating photographer Saskia Nelson. Their knowledge lies in leading clients in to the correct mindset for online dating achievements also assisting them develop a dating profile that sticks out.

The woman is profitable advisor cooperating with ladies to browse the changeover of midlife. This lady has showed up on BBC broadcast 4’s Woman’s hr, BBC London and writes  frequently for all the Huffington Post.

Rebecca lives in Hertfordshire and loves getting surrounded by the woman young children, hanging out together man (exactly who she met online) and honoring existence after 50. You can find Rebecca acquiring personal on Twitter and fb


dating after separation and divorce